I admit I use to be one of those girls always hoping to be smaller. I would look at girls in school who seemed so pretty and skinny, and try to change how I ate, dressed, and even carried myself just to look smaller. But no matter what I did it just wasn’t going to happen. I felt like a could never lose weight, and no matter how much I shrank and changed my meals it just didnt work. It was emotional and I have to admit it didn’t just end in High School. I was a successful softball player at San Jose State, and freshman 15 did not miss me. My sport required me to be strong, but at the same time coaches would always ask us to be smaller and faster too. You just couldn’t win.
It wasn’t until after college that I discovered CrossFit, and myself. I discovered that I could cook, and I was pretty good at it. Best of all I joined CrossFit and learned that setting different goals seemed to make me feel better. Instead of trying to lose 10 – 20 lbs. I was trying to get a handstand, pull-up, and max my back squat. I lifted weights in college but never in this style. It demanded I be flexible, strong, fast, and coordinated. After joining CrossFit I lost 30 pounds and so many inches I lost count. One thing still remained, I never got tiny, or small. My build would not allow for it and that was ok. I had found that the fat that I did lose was lost in such a way that I worked hard for. I didn’t stop eating, or only eat grapefruit. I gradually turned into a Paleo eating machine and I was happy and proud of my progress. What about that dream of being small?
As my fiance would put it now “I’m a big girl.” He doesn’t say this in a bad way, in fact the look on his face is pure happiness, he loves that I have strong legs, and can do anything I put my mind to. He admits he hates the idea of a stick thin girl, who doesn’t eat, and doesn’t workout. I’m strong, a size 8 and I don’t plan on getting smaller. My goals have changed and I want to get stronger. Not just in muscle and physical appearance, but I want willpower that can never be broken. I have my amazing fiance to thank for that. Even when I waver while looking at the sexiest magazine models and fitness models, he reminds me of how far I have come and how much he loves how I look. Deep down I know he is right and I am happy with myself, but the athlete in me always wants more. I want to be better, better at CrossFit, a better coach, and a better wife. I want to raise my children to believe in real things like how much they can PR, and how high they can jump. Things they can control. I don’t want my little girls to see advertising of anorexic models and think that is how they should be. Skinny is not the ultimate goal, healthy and strong is. Ultimately this will teach them self- worth and bring them happiness. And if they don’t like CrossFit then I will find what they love, and that fulfills them to be happy with how they look.
Below is a video I found that spurred this little tangent and got me fired up. Please watch, take it in, and leave your comments below. If you or your children are interested in joining CrossFit in the Northern California and Redding are please contact me today! Your first class will be free. Email: Support@buildingabetterathlete.com